Puzzle in my Muzzle

September 3, 2010

I’ve just created a new recipe! I combined rhubarb, Bick’s pickles and cheese cubes.
I call it ‘Rhu-Bick’s Cubes’.

Bingo!

June 25, 2010

Well, both the G8 and the G20 summits are in Toronto this weekend. I feel like I’m living on a Bingo card.

 

Blu-Rry

May 23, 2010

I think “Blu-Ray” sounds way too much like “Blurry”. Perhaps it was chosen by a “focus” group. I wonder if these other possibilties were considered:

Fuz-Zay

Fog-Gee

Mur-Kay

Hay-Zee

Mys-Tay

INO

April 28, 2010

Purists often refer to the American-made Godzilla movie as GINO — Godzilla In Name Only. It just wasn’t the real thing.

So I guess the new Sherlock Holmes movie could be called SHINO — Sherlock Holmes In Name Only.

And what about that X-men spin-off, Wolverine? I say it’s Wolverine In Name Only, or WINO.

The new V TV series? VINO.

Have you seen Road House 2? Believe me, it’s RHINO.

I hear Disney is going to remake Bambi – I’m sure it’ll be BambINO.

Everyone pretty much agrees that the Fat Albert movie was Fat AlbINO.

And I’m not looking forward to the inevitable Dracula In Name Only — DraINO.

I prefer to stay out of the limelight. It makes me look green.

Disaster

June 1, 2009

This spells disaster!

..and this misspells desaster!

 

Hybrid Books

July 16, 2008

“1984: a Space Odyssey” by Arthur C. Orwell

“Alice Shrugged” by Ayn Carroll

“A Brief History of the Time Machine” by H.G. Hawking

“The Communist Meinkampfesto” by Adolf Marx

“Great Hunchbactations” by Charles Hugo

“Helterstiltskin” by the Brothers Grimliosi

“Huckula” by Bram Twain

“I, Hobbit” by J.R.R. Asimov

“Koranetics” by the Prophet Mohubbard PBUH

“A Tale of Twenty Thousand Cities Under the Sea” by Jules Dickens

“One Thousand and Twelfth Arabian Night” by William Shakeherezade

“The Wizard of Jaws” by L. Frank Benchley

Storytelling

February 12, 2008

I’ve realized that pretty much every story conforms to the following structure:

 

1) Yoo-hoo!

2) Boo-hoo!

and

3) Woo-hoo!

 

As in:

Introduction (Yoo-hoo!)

Crisis (Boo-hoo!)

Resolution (Woo-hoo!)

 

For example:

Boy meets Girl (Yoo-hoo!)

Boy loses Girl (Boo-hoo!)

Boy gets Girl (Woo-hoo!)

 

So there you go.

Mediocre Movies

June 23, 2007

Sometimes a movie does not fully deliver on its promises. It isn’t quite everything it wants to be. In a case like this, I think the movie’ s title should be edited to reflect its shortcomings.

Here are my suggestions:

A Lifeless, Ordinary

Almost All the President’s Men

Bruce Alrighty

Die Hardly

Half Full Monty

Hurt Bill

I Think I Know What You Did Last Summer

Medium Overdrive

Muder Mostly Foul

Partial Recall

Polar Expressionless

The Second Last Starfighter

Some Like It Lukewarm

Sum of Some Fears

The Postman Frequently Rings Twice

True Fibs

2001: a Space Promenade

Walking Average Height

Look Both Ways

April 17, 2007

You should always look both ways before crossing your eyes.

Although, now that I think of it — if you cross your eyes, I guess you are looking both ways.